


and i wanna tell you everything

by littlemissmeggie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Lovesick Niall, M/M, Pining, Some Angst and Sex and Fluff, blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 22:04:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8177770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissmeggie/pseuds/littlemissmeggie
Summary: Niall’s phone lit up in the dark bedroom, the screen bright where it lay next to his head on the mattress. He reached over and picked it up, squinting at the screen and seeing a text from Harry. He slid to open the message and read, “all i want is your clothes on my floor, coffee made for two, and to make you so happy it hurts.” or... Harry and Niall have been boyfriends without the title for a year and Niall supposes that's the problem.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story was posted in two parts on Tumblr. The second part, "i'm a fool for you," was written and posted first; it was a drabble inspired by a text post I'd seen floating around. After I finished it, I decided that I might like to explore the backstory because I felt it deserved a little bit _more_. 
> 
> Listening to _This Town_ a million times on repeat inspired what I posted on Tumblr as the prequel. I decided to post both parts as a oneshot.

**everything comes back to you**

Niall woke up slowly, warm and comfortable under the blankets, untouched by the reality of life outside his bedroom. He smiled a sleepy, sticky-sweet smile and rolled over to kiss Harry.

The smile vanished and suddenly the warm comfort that protected him from reality bled from him.

Because Harry was gone, the side of Niall’s bed where Harry slept when he spent the night cold and empty. The realisation that Harry had left him alone at some point during the night froze him, hurt him, choked him.

He couldn’t help the tears that escaped from the corners of his eyes, couldn’t stop them even if he’d tried.

He rolled over onto his stomach, into the empty space on the bed, and nuzzled his face into the pillows, his tears soaking the fabric of the pillowcase.

The smell of Harry’s shampoo and cologne stuck in the pillow only made the silently flowing tears turn into heartbreakingly painful sobs.

_Why didn’t Harry want him?_

Niall laid in bed for another hour, even after the tears had stopped falling, and stared at the ceiling with blurry, tear-hazed eyes. He’d spent a year with Harry, a year spent curled up in each other’s beds, spent holding hands and kissing lips and cheeks and foreheads and noses, spent calling each other after work to talk about their days.

A year spent as boyfriends without the official title. Niall supposed that was the problem; they’d never discussed making it official, labelling their relationship.

And now he felt like Harry’s mistake, Harry’s regret, abandoned in this cold bed, unwanted and lonely.

Niall finally got up, mindlessly going through his usual Saturday morning routine. He found he’d never hated his Saturday morning routine as much as he did today. Harry wasn’t there with his long torso pressed to Niall’s back, his tattooed arms draped over Niall’s shoulders and across his chest, and his chin rested on Niall’s shoulder as he watched the blonde lad mix up pancake batter or scramble eggs.

Harry wasn’t there to make overly-sweet tea to go with their breakfast or to tell Niall bad jokes as they washed the dishes side-by-side.

He wasn’t there and it was _hard_.

*******

The week passed slowly. Niall had heard the expression “time flies when you’re having fun” but had never thought about how slowly it dragged when you weren’t. He couldn’t help but think that Janet Jackson had been wrong, that it _wasn’t_ funny how time flies when you’re having fun because it was actually a cruel irony.

Niall thought he saw Harry leaving Tesco on Wednesday but when he asked his father if Harry had been in at all, Bobby told him that he’d not seen the lad lately.

Niall had dinner at Maura’s on Friday night and, while his mother talked about the local gossip, Niall thought about how he’d never felt so alone, so far from the stars, trapped in the suffocating darkness.

“It’s funny,” said Maura, oblivious to Niall’s heartbreak, “how things never change in this old town.”

And Niall supposed that was another problem. Everything in this town reminded him of Harry. Harry’s mother and step-father lived across the street from Bobby and the fairgrounds always made him think of sticky ice cream cones and summer festivals with Harry. The pub in town reminded him of all their nights out and Harry’s eighteenth birthday party when they’d both got spectacularly drunk and slept together for the first time.

He wished he was eating sticky ice cream cones and dancing around the fairgrounds with Harry while a bunch of local bands took turns playing on the stage.  

As he walked home after dinner, he realised it was all _wrong_. Everything was wrong because he couldn’t get over Harry, couldn’t move on, because there was something about the lanky boy that had his heart and soul and mind and body.

Everything came back to him. Always. Niall knew what Paul Simon meant when he sang “the only truth I know is you” because his love for Harry really was the only truth in his life.

He was in love with Harry. Painfully, deeply in love with Harry and _everything_ reminded him of Harry, of every moment spent with Harry.

Every missed opportunity to say “I love you.”

He was overcome with an overwhelming desire, _need_ , to tell Harry everything, all the words he never got to say the first time around.

But he couldn’t because Harry didn’t want him. Not the same way he wanted Harry, that much was clear. Niall wanted Harry, wanted to belong to Harry and have Harry belong to him, but Niall knew that Harry didn’t want to be tied down, didn’t want a serious relationship even if everyone thought they’d been a couple for the past year.

Halfway home, Niall changed paths and headed to the pub. Heartbreak required a lot of alcohol, Niall decided, and he’d been _responsible_ all week. Heartbreak demanded that he get properly drunk.

He walked into the pub and sat at the end of the bar, away from everyone. After his third pint, Niall looked up and around the crowded space, taking in the locals out for a round with their mates. His eyes turned to the door as it opened and he felt the air pulled out of his lungs.

Harry walked in, as beautiful as ever with his wide dimpled smile bright and his hair pulled up in a bun on the top of his head, and Niall felt the butterflies in his stomach fluttering to life because it seemed that no matter how badly hurt he was, Harry still made him as nervous as he had the first time they’d met; Niall had gone home that night they met and realised he had a crush on the eccentric boy with the curly hair and green eyes.

He watched as Harry moved into the pub and noticed an attractive lad beside him, hand on Harry’s lower back as he led him through the crowd. They stopped at the opposite end of the bar and Harry leant against the bar, his partner standing behind him with his arms around Harry’s shoulders.

Niall quickly pulled money from his wallet and left 20 euro on the bar before pushing his stool back and standing up. He moved around the edges of the room, ducking behind people to avoid Harry’s gaze.

He finally made it to the door, his steps fast and his heart rate faster, and exited the building. The door slammed shut behind him and he sped up, feeling the tears prickling the corners of his eyes and burning as they dripped to his cheeks. He just wanted to get home, get out of the streets and into his warm bed where he could curl up and sleep until Monday morning.

“Niall,” he heard someone call from behind him. “Niall!”

He turned around and found Harry running toward him, long legs awkward like a baby giraffe.

“Niall,” said Harry, finally catching up to the blonde. “Hi.”

Niall’s face scrunched up, tears in his eyelashes and vision blurred. “Hi?” he whispered, mildly incredulous, disbelief evident in his voice.

“Niall?” said Harry quietly, sounding worried. “Are you crying?”

Niall nodded before turning from Harry and walking away.

*******

Niall walked into his flat above the bakery and turned on the lights. He headed to the bathroom, dropping his phone onto his bed first.

After a long shower, Niall stepped out of the bathroom, skin feeling raw and _harsh_. He collapsed on the mattress and grabbed his phone, finding eleven texts and a missed call from Harry.

His instinct was to ignore them, to throw his phone across the room, but he opened the messages.

“ _Niall_  
_Love_  
_Remember my 18th birthday?_  
_I do._  
_Best night of my life._  
_I remember everything._  
_I know we were pissed but I remember it all._  
_If the whole world was watching, I’d still dance with you._  
_I wish I was there with you now._  
_Please, Niall._  
_I remember everything_.”

Niall wasn’t even sure when he’d started crying again or if he’d even stopped since he left the pub. He wasn’t really sure what Harry meant because Harry was always so vague and Niall was never really sure how Harry’s mind actually worked.   

With a soft click, he locked his phone and placed it on the bed beside him.

It’s so hard. _So hard_.

 

**i'm a fool for you**

Niall’s phone lit up in the dark bedroom, the screen bright where it lay next to his head on the mattress. He reached over and picked it up, squinting at the screen and seeing a text from Harry. He slid to open the message and read, **“all i want is your clothes on my floor, coffee made for two, and to make you so happy it hurts.”**

Niall closed his eyes and blinked back the tears that stung at his eyelids.

*******

It was now 3:17 in the morning and Niall was stood outside Harry’s front door. Shaking slightly, he raised his hand and rang the doorbell.

After a few minutes, Niall saw the light just inside the front door turn on and he fought the urge to run away as quickly as possible. He heard the lock click and he took a deep breath, steadying himself.

The door finally opened and Harry stood in a pair of tight boxers, his face sleepy and his hair perfectly mussed, looking like a dream.

It seemed to take the lanky lad a few moments to realise exactly _who_ had awoken him, his eyes growing wide and his lips parting a bit as he inhaled sharply.

“ _Niall_ ,” he said breathily, taking a step forward and placing a hand on Niall’s cheek as if to make sure he wasn’t still asleep and this wasn’t a dream. Niall looked up at Harry, tears in his eyelashes and a watery smile on his face.

*******

Harry led Niall to his bedroom, the same wide-eyed look of overjoyed surprise and disbelief on his face as they walked through the dark hallway.

As soon as they walked through the door, Harry pulled Niall into his chest, one arm wrapping around Niall’s slim waist while the other hand found its way back to where it had been against Niall’s cheek just minutes earlier. Without a word, he leant down and kissed Niall, firm but so achingly _sweet_. Niall returned the kiss after a few seconds, just as sweet, trying to put everything he was feeling into the kiss.

Harry pulled back from Niall’s lips only to slide his mouth to Niall’s jaw and neck, pressing kisses and nipping at the ivory skin.

“Niall, Niall, Niall,” whispered Harry against Niall’s cheeks and lips and forehead and neck and jaw, both a worship and a plea.

“Harry,” said Niall so quietly that the other boy barely heard him. “Harry,” he repeated and Harry pulled back, looking at Niall and noticing the tears that dotted the blonde’s cheeks and clung to his lashes.

Harry’s big hands rose quickly to cradle Niall’s face, thumbs wiping away the tears almost frantically. “Don’t cry, love. _Please_ don’t cry,” he begged, sounding broken, nervous that he’d upset the boy.

“Harry,” choked Niall as fresh tears escaped, “I love you.”

Harry let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding and looked at Niall as though he’d hung the stars and the moon.

“Oh _Niall_ ,” breathed out Harry, kissing Niall again and whispering through his own tears, “I love you too. I love you. _I love you._ ”

*******

Niall was naked, clothes strewn on the bedroom floor, his creamy skin practically glowing in the moonlight that streamed through the gap in the curtain.

Harry hovered over him, palms against the bed on either side of his head, and gazed at Niall, eyes roaming all over the blonde’s body and face, taking in every freckle and scar and perfect imperfection.

“Do you even,” Harry began, “do you even know how beautiful you are?”

Niall blushed a bright crimson that the darkness of the room did nothing to hide.

“You’re perfect,” said Harry so sincerely. He lowered his head and placed his full lips to Niall’s, licking along the seam of Niall’s mouth and tasting the blonde when Niall allowed Harry’s tongue entrance.

“ _Please_ ,” whimpered Niall into Harry’s mouth.

Harry lifted one hand from where it was next to Niall’s head and dragged it slowly down the blonde’s body, fingers trailing lightly along his ribs and side and hip. Finally, he wrapped them around Niall’s hard length, moving his grip from the base to the tip maddeningly slowly before repeating the motion in reverse. He sped up his movements, hand moving up and down Niall’s stiff cock quickly.

Then his hand disappeared and, before Niall could even open his eyes to see what was happening, was replaced with Harry’s warm, wet mouth.

Niall whined and bucked his hips up into Harry’s mouth. The brunette placed a large hand on Niall’s small hip and pressed him down into the mattress, bobbing up and down on Niall’s dick, pulling off to lick the slit and tonguing around the head before taking the whole length back in. His tongue moved side to side, tracing along the vein on the underside of Niall’s cock, as he hollowed out his cheeks to suck more firmly.

“ _More_ , Harry. _Please!_ ” begged Niall, desperate. “ _Please_.” Then quietly, almost embarrassed about what he was asking, he said, “Make love to me?”

Harry pulled up, a thin line of spit drawn between his lips and the tip of Niall’s dick. Looking at Niall with a bit of shocked reverence, he whispered, “Are you sure?”

They’d done _this_ , had sex, many times before. They’d not, however, _ever_ called it love-making before.

“Yes, Harry.” Niall blushed again and said more firmly, “Please make love to me.”

With one last look at Niall, Harry moved away from the blonde and knee-crawled over to the edge of the bed, pulling a bottle of lube from the drawer of his nightstand, his own dick hard.

Returning to Niall, Harry spread Niall’s legs and knelt between them, leaning down to kiss him on the lips, simple yet passionate. He sat back on his heels and opened the lube, slicking up his fingers and reaching to place one hand on Niall’s scarred knee. He circled Niall’s hole slowly with his long middle finger, teasing the boy before placing it at the tight entrance and pressing into the first knuckle. Niall moaned as Harry moved the finger in deeper, wiggling it a bit to stretch his boy. He removed the first finger and pressed a second to Niall’s hole, working his middle and index fingers into Niall’s arse. Niall groaned at the new stretch and slight burn, his dick leaking precome against his thigh, and rocked his hips down onto Harry’s hand.

“Oh baby, you’re so pretty,” whispered Harry as he pushed a third finger into Niall’s loosening hole.

“Harry,” whimpered Niall, eyes closed, as Harry removed his fingers and wiped them on the sheets.

“Yes, love. Shhh,” said Harry, reassuring the blonde.

A few seconds passed and then Niall felt the tip of Harry’s cock against his hole. “Look at me, love,” said Harry and Niall opened his eyes, searching out Harry’s face in the dark. He found it close to his own, eyes soft and gentle and filled with love and adoration. Harry moved a hand to Niall’s cheek as he pressed into Niall slowly.

The blonde hissed as Harry slid in completely, deep in his arse. “Ohhhh,” he sighed.

Eyes still locked and hand still on Niall’s flushed cheek, Harry said steadily, “I love you, Niall.”

Niall whimpered and Harry groaned as he began to pump into his boy, setting an easy pace, not too slow and not too fast. It was gentle and sweet, not hard and rough like it usually was.

Because this wasn’t about fucking Niall until he was a dazed, fucked out mess on the bed. It wasn’t just _sex_.

This was meant to show Niall exactly how much he loved him, how much he’d loved him for _years_. This was beauty and art and passion and romance and _love_.

Niall’s arms reached up and wrapped around Harry’s neck, pulling the taller lad closer to him. “I love you, Harry. I love you,” he said, kissing Harry’s mouth chastely, “So much. _Please_ , Harry.”

“Please what, baby?” asked Harry sweetly, kissing him back and thrusting into the blonde, gripping one of Niall’s arse cheeks in his large hand.

“Please- please love me,” Niall whimpered, sounding choked and a little heartbroken.

Harry pulled up and looked at Niall, feeling as though his heart had been stabbed when he saw tears wetting the corners of the smaller lad’s eyes.  

“Oh _baby_ ,” cooed Harry. “I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”

Harry wrapped his tattooed arms around Niall’s shoulders and sat up on his knees, bum pressed to the flat of his feet, pulling Niall with him. He adjusted the blonde, bringing Niall’s legs to straddle Harry’s thighs. Sliding his hands to Niall’s hips, Harry helped the boy find a comfortable rhythm as he rode Harry’s cock.

“You’re an angel,” said Harry, in awe of the beautiful boy in his lap. “You’re an angel and I love you.”

Niall groaned, eyes fluttering shut as he came across his tummy. It didn’t take much longer, just a few seconds, and Harry was coming, cock pulsing in Niall’s arse.

Harry rolled onto his back, stretching his legs out and dragging Niall on top of his chest. He lifted the smaller boy’s hips up slightly, pulling out of Niall’s arse, and kissed the top of his head.

He waited for Niall to fall asleep in his arms before he moved to clean them both up.

*******

Niall woke up the next morning at around 11:00, tucked away in Harry’s bed. He opened his eyes and saw the sunlight filtering through the sheer fabric of the curtains. Rolling onto his side, he saw the other side of the bed empty. Unlike the last time he woke up alone in bed, he didn’t panic.

Because the last time he woke up alone in bed, he’d felt abandoned and unwanted and _cold_. He’d felt like a mistake, a year of intimacy that Harry regretted.

Harry hadn’t _told_ Niall that he regretted it but Niall had sensed it. That’s what he believed, anyway.

But this time, Niall felt loved and wanted and _warm_ , the sunlight golden and brightening every corner of the room and his soul. He felt peaceful.

The bedroom door opened and Harry walked in, all lanky and beautiful and naked. “Good morning, love,” he drawled, a small dimpled smile softening his eyes. “Coffee,” he added, handing Niall one of the two mugs he was holding.

Niall sat up and took the mug from Harry. Taking a sip, he studied the curly-haired lad before asking shyly, “Did you mean what you said last night?”

Harry sat on the bed beside Niall and looked at Niall, face serious but still soft. “I meant everything I said last night.”

“Even…” said Niall, hesitating.

“Even what, love?” prompted Harry.

“Even- even that you want to make me so happy it hurts?”

“You know that I’ve _always_ wanted that,” said Harry, eyebrows furrowed, a little surprised that he had to tell Niall that.

“Have you?” asked Niall quietly, an honest question.

“God, Niall. _Yes_ ,” said Harry, “so much.” He placed his mug on the nightstand and took Niall’s from him, setting it down and turning back to the blonde. He moved closer to Niall and pulled him into his lap, the smaller boy’s skinny legs around Harry’s waist. He gave Niall the softest, sweetest kiss and moved his hands to cup Niall’s face.

“Niall, _you’re_ what I’ve always wanted.” He kissed Niall again, thumbing over Niall’s cheekbones. “I never thought I could have you.”

“Harry,” said Niall, “you’ve always had me. I didn’t think you wanted me though.”

“Kitten,” whispered Harry against Niall’s ear, “I’m a fool for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://littlemissmeggie.tumblr.com/)! i'm actually quite friendly!


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